Ruddy cold I should think. I was quite shocked at how quickly and dramtically this sheep had lost it’s wool so guess what? Yes, I phoned the farmer for one of my classic “twit in the country” conversations.

Me: hello, it’s plumsource here from up in the village.

Farmer: Oh yes, hello (was that his eyeballs I heard rolling?)

Me: how are you?

Farmer: Fine. You? (Really thinking, “I’d be doing a lot more if you didn’t keep bothering me with your ninny notions of what happens in the country”)

Me: I know you think I’m probably being silly again…

F: Yes?

Me: …it’s just one of the sheep has lost all her wool. It’s all fallen out. Not just a little bit rubbed off. She’s got no wool on her at all now. And it’s quite cold.

F: Mmm

Me: None of the others are like it. Only her.

F: Yes

Me: One of the reasons for telling you is that I’ve actually collected some wool from the field. I was going to make something with it…

F: (definitely heard a muffled snigger and another possible eyeball rolling)

Me: …only now I’ve seen how bad she looks I was wondering if she had a disease* or something and maybe there might be some nasties in the wool?

F: (full blown snort and guffaw). No, no. You’re alright. She hasn’t got any “disease” (more snorting). What it is see, when she’s had her lambs, if some of them have a hard time, we give em a big dose of antibiotics. She’ll have had a rough time, so that’s what’s happened. It happens about a month later it does, after they’ve had all the antibiotics. It’s a pain really it is, for us farmers. We’d normally shear them then coz otherwise they leave big bits of wool then all over the field…

Me: (thinking, “erm no, most of it’s in my shed mate”) Oh right. I see. (thinking, “my god, just how high a dose are you giving the poor thing to make all it’s wool fall out??”). Oh? So that’s what it is? Ok, thanks very much then. Tell you what, if I get a spare pair of socks out of the wool - they’re yours!

F: (heard a thud as he fell off his tractor laughing). Right-o! Bye.

* What prompted me to call was I had looked up on the internet what might cause the symptoms of sudden loss of wool in sheep and a few searches came back with a horrid and highly contagious sounding “sheep scab”. Did I want any of these vile parasites leaping about in my shed or newly knitted socks? I was also worried about the poor ewe - she does look bloody cold and not quite the picture of health don’t you agree?