Harvests and Mystery Chefs

They’re getting bigger every day. Soon time to dust down the chutney pan and load up the shopping trolley with vinegar. It’s that time of year where if I forget to go out in the garden for a few days, I’m then inundated with armfuls of produce that I “have to do something with - QUICK!”. We’re novices at this growing lark so I’m sure we’ll find other ways of staggering our crop but for now we have umpteen lettuces, umpteen courgettes growing into marrow and give it a few months - a squillion apples.

I set about looking for recipes and came across this site which made me laugh. I was looking at it’s silly flashing icons while making one of the recipes for tea and then it started dawning on me. This all looked familiar. I seem to remember this funky cookery show on TV from my youth. I’m sure it was on late at night advocating anarchy in the kitchen backed by loud guitar music. But there’s more to it than this… I go back and look at the site some more. Oh yes, there were 2 crazy “mystery chef” characters. Then “plink” the missing piece of mental jigsaw slots in. There’s mention on the website of an incident where the “Mystery Chefs” were guesting on another TV show and threw a plate of spag bol over Johnny Vaughan while he was presenting a link. Why should this ring a bell? It was me who booked them as guests on that show!

 

Smashing Smush-ins

Thanks to my friend “allotment girl” who lent me the book, we’ve discovered Jamie Olivers’ ice cream “smush-ins” . I’d promised R a treat and she’d asked for an ice-cream. I was wondering how I was going to match the excitement of all those holiday ice-creams she’d got used to and this certainly did the trick.

What you (and / or your little ones) do is, get a couple of scoops of ice-cream and mush or smush into it, any lovely stuff that you fancy or have lurking in your cupboards. We bunged in banana, sultanas, sprinkles, some Winnie the Pooh chocolate coins left over from easter and mamaluke’s gorgeous strawberry cordial but the possibilities are endless. The idea is so, so simple that you wonder why any editor would’ve allowed it into a recipe book. Thing is, it turned into such an event that I understood why it was in the book - to create a buzz and excitement around mixing, bashing and smushing a bowl of ingredients. And then of course, there’s the eating. Yummm.

 

Lists-a-go-go

I love lists. I spend my life making lists. On several occasions I’ve actually caught myself making lists of the lists that I need to make. Is there a job I could do making lists? I drive Mr. P insane. I’m like Monica from friends except without the team of comedy scriptwriters. Anyway, I’m wondering if I can enliven my posts with some listy action?

I like the idea of those “10 things that make me happy today” lists. They’re uplifting & thought provoking but somehow not quite me. They don’t allow for my sardonic streak. (can anyone even think of 10 happy things - a day for goodness sake?)

I’m more with the “let’s talk about what’s good but lace it with a nice dollop of mockery” gang. I felt so at home working in Birmingham with the self deprecating humour of the brummies. Who else would create the most passionate and upbeat website about their home city and call it “Birmingham: It’s Not Shit.”? Hilarious.

So, how bout a list where the good stuff and the not so good stuff is all jumbled up – much like it happens in life? So here goes:

10 erm “things” about our Greek holiday.

 

Cordial Capers

I’m sitting here getting wafts of something smelling really lovely. I did turn the air freshener on earlier but it’s not just that. Ah! The basket of elderflower heads sitting next to me on the table might have something to do with it – doh!

I think I might have got away with it. The flowers were out the week before we went on our fortnight hol. I was convinced there wouldn’t be any left when we got back but sadly didn’t have time to make any cordial before we left. Was amazed to see a few flowerheads still on the go when we got back but it’s taken me a few days to get the citric acid together and even then I forgot to buy the lemons – double doh! So I dragged R out before tea today on a “flower hunt” and managed to find just about the last dozen elderheads in the whole county I reckon. Boiled up the water and dissolved the sugar before tea and now R is settled, toys semi tidied away and the washing sorted, I can get to zesting those lemons. That is, if Mr. P hadn’t decided to be a model husband and do the washing up and in the process chuck my nicely cooling cordial base down the sink. Is someone somewhere trying to tell me this cordial was not meant to be? Of course that only makes me more determined to make the stuff!

 

The Return Of The Elder

No, not the next Indiana Jones epic but a sight for sore eyes in our back hedge. I was reading this blog a few days ago, amazed at the idea of elderflowers being picked for cordial – already! Then I remembered the author lives in Italy. They must be way further ahead than us. But what did I see tonight en route to the compost? These little beauties winking at me! Elderflowers were the first thing that I harvested from the hedgerow last year and therein started a new addiction. Elderberries followed, then sloes, bullaces, rosehips, blackberries. I was smitten. How quickly the season has come round again and I’m excited about planning the list of hedgerow treats for this year, a year older but a year wiser:

 

Busy Fingers

The last shot is my first ever “Bara Brith” - a gorgeous moist welsh tea bread.It’s a really easy recipe C/o my friend V - so thanks V!Mix 12oz sultanas with 8oz light muscovado sugar in a bowl and pour over 10fl oz of hot strong tea made with 4/5 tea bags. Cover & leave to soak overnight. Pre-heat oven to 150C / 300F / Gas Mk 2 Lightly grease & base line a 2lb loaf tin. Stir 10oz of sifted self-R flour and 1 medium beaten egg into the mixture. Mix thoroughly then turn into tin. Bake in oven for 1-1/2 to 1-3/4 hours or til well risen & firm to touch. A fine skewer in the centre should come out clean. Allow to cool in tin for 10 mins then turn out onto wire rack & remove paper. Slice, butter & enjoy! -~- Mine didn’t seem to rise much and went a bit crispy on top but then my oven does that to all my cakes. Also, I used raisins and demerara sugar as that’s all I had in. Still, tastes lush! Can we resist eating the rest of it before our guests come tomorrow?

 

Blueblee muffins

That’s what we call them in our house and R & I had fun making them and eating them today. Yum!

I’m umm-ing and agh-ing about what to do with my wool now. The spinning lady is so busy that her offer to me involves driving to “The Wool Emporium” about 50 mins away where she holds subsidised workshops on carding and spinning, so could show me how to do this.

I know I’m just being lazy but a few things are putting me off: 1) the extra driving 2) the thought of trying to interest a 3 year old in spinning so she won’t run amok and get tangled up in everyone’s yarn 3) I’m gonna have to pick all the straw and poo out of the wool myself and wash it and dry it.

It’s taken the wind right out of my artisan sails.

What to do?

 

Cookbooks

It’s Tana Ramsey week, this week in our house. I’ve been trying to inject some enthusiasm into creating our meals ever since Mr. P figured out that I’ll be dishing up 17,500 family meals over the next say, 16 years.

So, I’ve been cooking from different recipe books from the library and borrowed from friends. So, we’ve had Nigella week, a few Jamie weeks, a retro Linda McCartney week – loved the 80s fashion and food styling photos in that book, Lorraine Kelly week, quite a few Annabel Karmel weeks and as for Hugh Fearnley – well he pops up all over the place. My criteria for a tip-top cookbook is not so much that it has to have recipes for wholesome family food that’s really quick to prepare, but that it has loads of mouth-watering pictures. No pictures. No go. I’m even down-hearted now if there’s only a picture every other page.

 

“A White Easter”

I know it’s not really still easter but we were celebrating it again with family this weekend. We ate some of these…

admired the view…

and built him…

 

Lamb Dramas (anagram of Madras!)

I saw an unfamiliar fella in our back field this morning. He had a sheepdog with him and they chased some sheep into the corner of the field like they were on a mission. I didn’t recognise him, and he hadn’t come down the lane, which is the only route our farmers take. I whipped out the binoculars to see what was going on.

He managed to seperate one of the lambs from the family group and quick as lightening, grabbed it and carried it in his arms pronto to the edge of the field. He took off with such speed and I heard a sound like a quad bike revving off in the other direction. I was upset - “SOMEONE’S JUST NICKED A LAMB!” I got on the phone to the farmer, while wondering how much a “poached” fattened lamb would fetch, as he was bound to be selling it on for someone’s Sunday lunch. Well the farmer just pee-ed himself laughing at my ludicrous story. “It’s the farmer from next door” he said. “His lambs keep getting through to our field so he’s just come to fetch it back”. Do you think I have an overactive imagination or am simply living up to my title of “Twit in the Country”?

Reminds me of the time just after we’d moved here from the city. I could hear one of the sheep coughing through the night and was convinced it was dying (sheep make a blimmin weird noise when they cough). The farmer couldn’t believe I’d called him urgently on his mobile the next morning to tell him one of his vast flock had a tickly throat! Thankfully he takes my silly city ways with good humour.

Just as the “suspected poaching” incident was over, I saw this little fella stalking the sheep.

Thankfully he didn’t attack any of them that I could see but I expect him and his friends will be back tonight…